The wrong colour

[Qristina Cummings]

As a light-skinned Roma woman I am doubting my place as an activist for Roma rights. I enjoy privilege and difference that does not make me an accurate representation of the people on behalf of which I speak. I feel like I am a liar or a sham, or worse… because I have, for all intents and purposes, white skin.

Within my own community, this is not easily accepted. I am called out on a regular basis by other Roma who are angry that I am speaking out and speaking up. Being light-skinned was seen as unlucky — and following the death of my uncle and other personal events — I was shunned for being the one who brought bad luck. 

I have worked hard to gain an education and to be able, as bell hooks espouses, talk to the oppressor in their own language. I was not always able to write or read or express myself. I have worked hard to come to this place and now all I see before me are doubts.

Do I have any right to claim my heritage openly and in the spirit of activism? Do I have any right to reclaim my language and speak of it? Do I have any right to tell my stories, write my words, and show them as truth?

The situation in Europe grows worse. I am a European Roma. I have family in Europe—I have witness racism, discrimination, and oppression first hand. I have been beaten and evicted. I have watched my grandmother be spit on…

and yet, these things don’t define my experience as a Roma woman. They colour it, they buoy it. But, they are not the entirety of it. Being Romani, to me, is a beautiful thing—far more beautiful even than all the hipster romanticization of it. 

I just don’t know that I have any right to speak on behalf of anyone—because my words reach more than just myself. Am I needed in this fight? Someone who looks as I do, speaks as I do, writes as I do… am I needed? There are far stronger, wiser, and better suited activists than me. Am I just making things worse?

I always was the wrong colour, why should this be any different?

[PIT BECKER paintmyblues]

.

!!! There is no wrong colour !!!

There is no wrong colour, dear Qristina!

I am very angry that you are attacked and violated - because humans want to teach you about "right" and "wrong" or "not good enough" colour ....

I am very angry about such a judgement !!!

We are all one family - we are both equal and different - but nobody of us human beings on this planet has a "wrong" colour - just as no one has a "right" colour !!!

I know that there are unwritten laws, tabus, tradition in lots of communities on this planet,
lived and handed down since ancient times until today.
Every community has e.g. laws made for the security of the community and this is necessary, I know about this.

BUT

BUT Who

BUT Who has the right to say and the right to teach there is a "right" colour - or there is a "wrong" colour ?

or say: it is not enough ???

Who has the right to condemn or reject, or to expel a  human being from a community

BECAUSE OF THE COLOUR OF THE SKIN
(der Farbton - shade of a colour) more or less different from the others?
e.g. not ParisBlue, "only" KobaltBlue.

or

BECAUSE OF THE COLOUR VALUE OF THE COLOUR
(der Tonwert) is more or less different from the others?
e.g. not 100% AquarmarinBlue, "only" 17% of it ???

Think it over,

THINK IT OVER, DEAR ALL, what THIS means, to condemn a human being because of not having 100% the "right" colour!
What is the value to be accepted? 100% or minimum 51%?

I am really angry!!!

How does a community live with this? To know, the condemned one is suffering, getting more and more despaired, left alone with these feelings, ignored, isolated or expelled  ???

How does a community and every one of the community deal with this?
Silence? Tabu? Silence?

in my opinion this is nothing else than inhuman.

And it is more. As I said before: WHO has the right to judge,
that there is a "right" and a "wrong" colour of the skin?

!!! NOBODY has this right !!!

Nobody has the right to tell us and / or to teach us,

about "right" or "wrong" colour !!!

I repeat: I am really angry !!!

HOW can a Roma or a Roma community have such a thinking of a "right" and "wrong" colour?

I am really shocked !!!  I do not understand, I do not accept - NOBODY on this planet has the right do condemn us because of our colour of our skin, because our colour value of the colour of our skin!

Dear Qristina!

When I was a little boy, about 4 years old, my father and I had a walk into the wood.
Outside the town,
near a creek, in the protection of the trees at the edge of the forest, there were two wagons, a fire was burning, and I saw some people looking different to the people that I know from the town.
We came not so close. Unfortunately. I wished to go to them and told my father this. But he said "no".
I asked him, who are these people, what are they doing here? He replied, "They are Gypsies! They are on the road, are sometimes here, sometimes there are."

I asked my father, can we go to the people and sit with them at the fire.
But my father said "no".
His "no" I did not liked.

Several times we came close this place from walks in the wood - in the following years.
Sometimes the wagons were there, sometimes not.

I wanted to know how these people live, what they do, whether they have enough to eat and drink, whether they read ...
My father could not or would not tell me much.
From the street I had heard people say, that allegedly "gypsy steal children, and everything else what they can get" and that we should lock the doors when they would come.

I NEVER believed this!
I NEVER saw this happen!
I am grateful that I NEVER believed
this baiting, lies, all this racism!

I work with colours.
My paintings are inspired by nature and by humans.

Since my childhood I am interested in cultures of all people of the whole planet.
I can not understand how people despise other people for their skin color, ignore, mistreat humiliate, or even kill!

!!! I am really angry !!!

Nobody has the right to appoint themselves as judge and condemn people because of their skin color!

Nobody has the right to teach us, to tell us what kind of colour is "right" or "wrong" or "not good enough" !!!

Against all odds - Qristina,

Qristina, whatever the colour of our skin is, whatever our origin is,
You,
You are my sister - and I am your brother!

We never give up, Qristina!
We never are silenced!
My thoughts are with you!

Your phrala,
Pit
aka paintmyblues

[PIT BECKER paintmyblues]

Dear Qristina,

WHY shall you not speak out? Speak out for the Roma, speak out for yourself!

Where are all these activists which you had mentioned, Qristina?

"... are far stronger, wiser, and better suited activists than me..."

I do not see them. I can not hear them. Where are they?

Don't think so negative about yourself. You are NOT making things worse.

Don't doubt! You do not need to doubt yourself!

Why?

you have the power to speak - you have the power to write ...

Don't continue to care about the one's who are attacking you.

And the activists you had mentioned ... where are they?

I think there are many activists who are with you, sister, they need you, they accept you, they estimate you!!!

I do estimate you so much, although I had never seen you, we never had met - BUT I hear you! You have a powerful voice. And you should continue to use it!

Do not doubt, do not give up!

You have a right to speak out!

You did such a long gorgeous fight for yourself, for to learn so many things. Don't give up!

It is necessary that you speak out, that you use your voice, that you share your experience, that you write - that you go on - it is a long and hard way, but you are not alone - we are with you, Qristina !!!

And we need you - you are no less important than any other activist - and  every member of Khetanes is as important than you are !!!  

I call you, dear sister! Let's go on together!

Peace and hope for you!

PIt