Ašunel?

Svato si mungri dej;

svato si

lel an angali

Lulud’a…

So, yesterday I had to read part of a paper I wrote--which I hope might become part of my thesis. It was what they call an "autoethnography", which is something that include your own voice and research that other's have completed.

I wrote about my life as phurnavi (light-skinned Roma) and difficult and hurtful times because of it. It was hard to write and even harder to read. …

I found out that I won't get to speak at the TEDx event. I think that I am not good enough or something. I really wanted to give a talk about Roma and the Porajmos and education for our children. I gave them an outline and they said to me:

"There aren't Roma in the United States and if there are somewhere, they aren't in our area"... I said, but wait, I'm Roma! They said, no, you're not Roma...

So, I am very upset. I feel like I've let myself and everyone down. I don't have PhD…

I was asked today, "what are you?" when I was talking about Rroma. They said, no no, there are no Romanians here. I said no, I am Rroma. So, I had to explain gypsy.

They told me "you don't look like one, you can't be one". I argue for an hour that my ethnicity is what I say it is.

I am not used to that. In Europe people hate me openly for being prostitute dirty thieving gypsy. Here in US people think I "died out" or don't exist. Or worst still, I am a ... Disney…

či džanav sar. aj, ćerav bući crra pe vrjama. so džanes te ćeres…



puh… či halam vadži…. me sem bokhalo! so si te halpe???!!!! naj manřo… mislil-pe adžes či hav mahklo! 



u______u



adžes si šukar vrjama numa šl si mande …



si tumende ašundon e mulikane čiriklja? thaj čiřiklořa? Mende si čiřiklořa… thaj.. gravoro. 



lačhe… šaj jek kafava?



aš…

I am trying to incorporate Rroma into my masters thesis. I want to make it personal but... I don't know how. I feel like no one Rroma is in Masters programs. I don't know who to ask or anything. I feel like I'm going to fail because I can't frame my own story. Does that even make sense? I feel it could be a chance to educate those in my program, my university, my area about Rroma and about our lives. No, we are not indigenous but we are still worthy of respect. We…